


Swear Jars of MI-6 (or: 00Q Sexual Tension Jars)

by AKAuthor



Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: 00Q - Freeform, Betting, Betting Pool, Humor, I'm sure this actually happened, M/M, Moneypenny always wins, Q-Branch - Freeform, Q-Branch Minions, Swear jar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-12
Updated: 2015-12-12
Packaged: 2018-05-06 07:17:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5407832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AKAuthor/pseuds/AKAuthor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every time an MI-6 employee sees Bond and Q vaguely insinuating a relationship, something of monetary value is put in the jar. Winner takes all. A selection of times things were put in the jar, until someone wins.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Swear Jars of MI-6 (or: 00Q Sexual Tension Jars)

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a Tumblr prompt. Let me know what you think because I'm thinking about doing a series of 00Q's... maybe soulmate AUs?

MI-6 had a swear jar. But it wasn’t a normal swear jar, no, this swear jar was solely dedicated to the tension between their resident Quartermaster and Double-Oh. There was at least one swear jar in each department (following the issue of Q and Bond appearing in Medical one time and half the staff vacating to shove change into the closest jar –two floors away in the ever silent accounting dept).

These swear jars (gleefully decorated with hearts) were there for whenever people noticed Bond and Q mentally removing clothing, eyeing each other in a debauchery manner, or even standing too close together. The collective contents of these jars were pooled into the Multi-departmental betting pool with the overall idea of Bond and Q getting together within certain time frames.

 

Down in Q-Branch, the jar is an old jam jar, about three times bigger than normal, and decorated with wires and battery packs. It makes odd noises on occasion and has been known to change colour. One Thursday afternoon, when the majority of Q’s Minions were trickling in from lunch four levels above their lair, Minion no. 53 saw Bond smile at Q, who responded with a twitch of his own lips, and continued with the tweezers and the copper wire in his hands. As Bond exited, and the Minion was preparing to drop three pounds into the jar, the Quartermaster jumped in place as Bond passed behind him, leaving little doubt in the Minions mind.

Another ten quid was shoved into the jar.

 

Days later saw Q doing something with Bond’s computer in the 00 office block. The curly haired MI-6 favourite, was bent over onto the table his head almost inside the computer. Bond was standing next to him, a poorly disguised smug expression on his face. The desks allocated to the first nine 00 agents were mostly empty, 006 was in Vilnius, 001 was in Montevideo, and 009 was in Bishkek. 003 was in Medical as the only 00 agent to visit semi regularly, and 004 was on leave with a sore back (that apparently needed to heal on the sunny coast of Spain). 002 was at her desk, pretending to type up a report on events in Las Vegas three days ago, while slyly watching Bond and Q and trading looks with 008, who had the jar (this one had bullets taped to it, suspicious looking fake blood, and- “ _Good fucking lord, Alec, is that a condom?!”_ ) This jar was half filled with cash of varying currencies, but it looked like a hundred Pesos, a fair amount of Euro, Japanese Yen, some Carribbean Dollar, and US coins littering the bottom. Airline tickets, concert and event tickets, small trinkets and stray bullets also filled the jar.

Q was muttering inside the computer, something about gum on some component, which 008 could confirm Bond had tacked to the inside half an hour before Q entered the room. Probably just so he could stare at Q’s arse, as he was doing right now. 008 fished in her bra and added twenty pounds, two US dollars, and fifty Australian dollars to the jar. Bond looked up just in time to see 002 toss her Original Disney watch at 008 who popped it in the jar.

 

A conference room was occupied by the top employees, heads of department, and a representative of those without a head. 007 was unfortunately the only 00 available for the meeting, but once the other attendants heard of his involvement in the meeting, a fresh jar was supplied for the meeting, courtesy of Eve Moneypenny, who sat grinning in a chair off to the side, clip board in hand. Bond conveniently managed to sit himself next to Q, despite the head of Medical, Dr Marigold Chantilly, normally being seated there. As everyone sat down, Marigold shoved a five pound note into the jar, and swiped it along to Tanner, who sighed and lodged a ten inside. As the meeting progressed, Accounting droning on about budget cuts, Q got equally bored and angered, the hand on his shoulder not going unnoticed as the jar made a complete round of the table, M opening his wallet and adding a crisp bill to the lot.

James frowned, and turned to Q.

“Q, would you like to go to dinner with me?” He asked, to a fast nodding of curls. The silence and scraping of the jar on the table broke when Eve yelled gleefully, and flipped pages on her clipboard.

“I won! Ha ha! Five and a half months after pool was created, I totally won this one.”

M turned to head of accounting, who was staring at his tablet.

“Dice? Did she win?” The man looked up, painfully serious and nodded.

“Miss Moneypenny is the closest, exactly seven hours off her betted time. She’s won what looks to be over five thousand dollars in varying currencies, plus airline tickets, and anything else put in the jars.”

“Pay up!”


End file.
